maths i live by

When I move out, I'm almost certainly going to struggle to eat well. There's a big chance that I won't learn fast and actually end up eating cereal for every meal. I'm actually okay with that scenario. That's because it's good maths. Microwaveable meals, pizzas, porridge, burgers, fry-ups and the like are also all examples of good maths too.

Y'see, I live by an equation when it comes to eating: t<e= positive, while t>e= negative.

In this equation, the time that it takes to make the food (t) should always be a smaller unit of time than the time it takes to eat the food (e). If you spend 2 hours cooking a meal that takes you 10 minutes to eat, then this is a poor trade off. This has been an ineffective use of your time in the day. However, if you cleverly prepare a meal, such as a microwaveable pie that takes 2 minutes to heat up, and then approximately 10 minutes to consume, then you have not only cut down the amount of time in your day given over to food, but you have also received more bang for your buck. Good maths.

I have lived by this equation for a significant amount of my life, which would explain why everytime I live by myself, I buy food, live off cereal and invite female friends over to cook for me. I have only started telling others about this equation over the last 12 months, and 100% of people told disapprove of it. Perhaps I will find some others who see the unsearchable logic?

Of course, here I have chosen not to factor in other variables, such as cooking with friends, or cooking for friends. That's where the maths get sticky and I would end up with horribly complicated equations that would mean I would spend more time trying to figure it out than actually implementing it. Again, bad maths.

Some may call this hyper-pragmatism.

Some may call this laziness.



To those people I say: yeah. Fair enough. I have been too mothered.

Post of the Day - Stacey, please write a book.

hey who are ya

"man is born free and everywhere he is in chains" "we are bruised and broken masterpieces, but we did not paint ourselves" "we are God's unwanted children" "man is something to be overcome" "apes with ego trips" "noble savages" "man is a useless passion" "we are illusions" "made in the image of God" "man is but a whisper" "we are all water" "a pig in a cage on antibiotics" "man is a complex biochemical machine" "the glory of God is man fully alive" "a wretch like me" "beautiful tragedies" "we are all made of stars" "I decide who I want to be" "made me a man but who cares what that is"

Just take a look at all the different voices selling us different interpretations as to what and who we are. The media is full of contradictory, hopeful, depressing, optimistic, nihilistic, dignifying and profoundly undignified pictures of what it really means to categorise yourself as 'human', and philosophy is much the same. The conversation as to what defines our humanness is incredibly important right now, when frightening ethical decisions have to made as to when we begin, and where we end, and at what point someone steps out of their potentiality into their actuality as a human. Every picture of humanness offers an ideal and some of these ideals are dead ends.

It seems to me that generally, we have no idea what it means to be a human, let alone how to live as one. In most cases, it seems that we define ourselves as whatever we want to be. We don't know what our true identity is, so we tend to look for identity in being a punk, a metal-head, an indie kid, a scholar, a sexual preference, a New Zealander, a soccer player, a musician, or heaven forbid, a Christian. I want to suggest that these catergories are helpful for communicating personalities but we are still no closer to finding out who we are through them.

We live in a world that presents a barrage of ideas telling us how best spend our time and live well. Do we matter only when we are loved or love another? Do we matter only when we are the best at something? Do we matter only when we hold to a certain belief system? When we are part of a certain community? When we are high enough up the social ladder? When we are aesthetically pleasing or an acceptable candidate for procreation? Take a look at the answer Muse gives in their song, "Butterflies and Hurricanes":

Best,
You've got to be the best
You've got to change the world
And you use this chance to be heard
Your time is now

Perhaps though, Bob Dylan was closer to the mark in suggesting that we don't really know how to articulate what our essence is:

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you can call him a man?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

Genesis 1 frames man's place in reality, saying that "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." He affirms the dignity and diversity of humanity by forming human beings in his own image in two distinct but equal reflections of His own nature. The wisdom literature in the Bible then goes on to try and paint a picture of a well lived human life in light of the wealth of experiences that a human life will be confronted with, dealing with suffering, affirming sexuality, giving instruction, finding meaning and seeking to understand the nature of God.

As the reader begins to immerse themselves in these images of living, they may begin to ask the question: what would it look like for someone to actually live like this? To embody these attitudes and perspectives? To embrace these understandings and interact with the world they are in?

We now have this picture in the person of Jesus, the wisdom of God personified. We no longer simply a series of suggestions and helpful tips and maybe a few life rules, but a man to look at and see what a truly human life looks like. He is the answer to the question, and that's why immersing ourselves in the story of his life, and understanding what he meant when he did and said things and why is incredibly important.

What constitutes the proper end, or telos, of human formation depends on the ultimate story we tell of what human beings are and what human beings are called to be. The Christian story specifies that human beings are creatures whose ultimate telos is to image their creator and be conformed to the image of his Son. Different stories obviously envision different ends for humanity. So what constitutes good or proper formation must be determined in relation to the particular founding narrative that we confess tells the truth about the world and the human condition. (James K.A Smith, Who's Afraid of Post Modernism,p103)

awkward moments in growing up #2

Unfortunately, everything in this post is true.

Until my experience helping out at a disabled camp in 2006, you could say that I was a little bit freaked out by people with serious disabilities. It was a xenophobic thing I'm sure, but regardless, I kept my distance from people that I thought would make me too uncomfortable. I have a feeling this had something to do with an experience I had in year 3, when I was emotionally scarred by someone with down syndrome.

It was back when I was a wee lad, about 8 years old at the time, perfectly innocent, with an imagination bigger than most. I didn't have many friends, just a little gang that I made up with two really strange little guys, called the 'Dodo gang'. We were pretty cool. Had an official Dodo gang dance and everything. Quite the crowd pleaser.

One day though, a young guy with downs syndrome, named David, joined our class. Now I was little and didn't know anything and to be honest was kind of scared of him. I kept my distance because I didn't know what to do.

It just so happened that one day he decided to frame me. I was having the time of my life playing by myself on the monkey bars when this little obnoxious scottish girl marched up to me, and because of her ridiculous accent I couldn't work out what she was saying to me. I thought she asked 'Someone taught a little boy to swear, shall I go tell the teacher?' I think I said 'Sure, go for it!'. I soon found out later that what she had said was 'David said that you taught him how to swear, shall I go tell the teacher?'

Not good.

Despite my protesting that I didn't ever go near him, let alone know any swear words, the teachers insisted that I was never to go near him again, and I wasn't allowed to talk to him until I left that school.

I still feel so misunderstood.



Now I'm studying to be a teacher, and soon I will be making a living out of corrupting innocent minds for real.

show them what they lack

In my little church (Grace Church Auckland - you can find it in the sidebar) I have lead a little small group since the beginning of the year. Some may call these life groups, home groups, ekklesia groups, home church, mid week meetings, bible study, koinonia club, fellowship, support ring, meditation station, and we even thought about calling our group 'Das Zuper Uber Groupentagen Danke' at one stage. It has been a really interesting experience so far, and one that I really felt under qualified going into. Trying to lead a group into a meaningful community was quite a daunting idea (and still is in a lot of ways!) - we only have three small groups in the church, this one is the biggest and I am the youngest in it, some people are 35!

Because our church is still pretty young, we've spent most of our time getting to know eachother and building community before we do anything else. Now the church is moving into a time of being a bit more outward focussed and finding our feet and what it means for us to be missional. The responsability was put on us small group leaders to mobilise our groups into how were going to bless the city, introduce people to the gospel, and be more outward focussed as a small group of people. So there was a lot of talk and prep from me about the fact we were going to do this, but in truth, I had no idea what this was going to look like. At all. Which is always good.

I was reading late one night the other night while thinking about this, when I felt really stirred that God wanted to speak to me, so I went for a walk. I got down to the beach and was looking out across my beautiful city, and my mind wandered, as it tends to do. I started thinking about my experience in the Ukraine (which you can read about here) and I took notice of this and started to think about the trip and all that I learned.

I found in my trip that although these people had nothing by the standards of the West, they had so much more than we did. They had nothing, yet gave everything that they had, and valued eachother - relationships were the most important part of life. I found that although I had far more materially, I lacked so much spiritually in comparison. I felt God clearly speak to me about the North Shore through this and say 'show them what they lack'.

The North Shore of Auckand is one of those rare spots in the world that has everything going for it. It has beautiful beaches, it's a comfortable distance from the CBD, and people generally have disposable incomes. Basically, life tends to be pretty comfortable for people who live where I live. So what do you do for people who "don't need anything"? How do you offer people something that will probably look like just another add on, or an annoying inconvenience? Maybe by demonstrating a community that is dancing to the beat of another drum, a community that looks beyond image, personality, intellectual ability and maturity. Maybe the trick is to show people how hollow these individualistic, consumerist stories are, and show them what these stories are robbing them of.

I'm still thrashing this idea out, but the stuff I've been reading seems to run along the same sort of lines. James K.A. Smith, in his book "Who's Afraid of Post Modernism?" writes:

The first and chief defense of the gospel, the first 'letter of commendation' not only for Paul but for Jesus, is not an argument but the life of the church conformed to Christ by the Spirit in service and suffering. The church doesn't have an apologetic; it is an apologetic.



I think I need to listen more.

what is man that you are mindful of him?

It would be great if people could write some reflections on this.

The more I learn, the more I realise that I know nothing at all. The more I discover about the world, the more it saddens me and amazes me. I have learned to appreciate the goodness and have discovered more of the ugliness in the process. A lot of the time, this world scares the life out of me, but then continues to astound me with its beauty.

The way I see it, we are flung into this life with less than a clue what this world is all about, we have to figure out who we are, what we are, what we're doing, who God is, what we want, how to make the most of our time, what's right, what's wrong and what's best. We live with questions and tensions, longings and frustrations, and sometimes we're not able to tell which is which. Figuring out what this life is all about is a lifelong vocation and sometimes incredibly overwhelming.

Lately I've found myself standing and looking out at the ocean, amazed at how much I've learned in such a small amount of time, and how complex life is. I feel like I have more questions than ever, I miss not having to know stuff, and I miss being happy with living off the little I did know. I miss having a picture of the world that was friendlier and less harsh, and I miss not having to confront the big questions that underpinned the way I lived. In a way, I guess I miss the freedom of being a child.

I don't think I've ever felt so unsettled and challenged, but at the same time, I don't think I've ever felt more sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm digging and learning and I've never felt more alive.

Often when I have these moments sitting by the tide, I'll be listening to the psalms, and thinking about just how insignificant I am in the scheme of things. I'm just one human being in the scheme of things, trying to work things out, and trying to get to know a God that has been around in the experience of every human being that has ever lived. All this foundation shaking stuff has driven me towards this God. It's quite a humbling thought and this psalm has been one of my favourites.

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.

You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet, the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea, whatever passes along the paths of the seas, all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field.

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Psalm 8

awkward moments in growing up #1

Unfortunately, everything in this post is true.

When I was in year seven, things were very different. For starters, I was eleven years old, had a terrible hairstyle (gelled down curtains), was slightly podgey, really short and looked about 9 years old and probably acted that way too. I was very much a kid. I wasn't what one would refer to as a 'chick magnet' by any means.

Today I would like to draw your attention to one of my more painful memories. During that year - my first year of secondary school - I didn't really understand girls at all, but I knew a nice one when I saw one. I found myself taking on a bit of a liking to a certain girl. Her name was Zowie and she was probably the best looking, coolest girl in our year. All the guys had a thing for her. For some reason I decided to let her know about my feelings towards her. I don't know what I was thinking.

It came to Valentines day, and I wanted to get her something. So I stole money from my mum's handbag, bought a box of maltesers and wrote her a poem, which I then stuck on top of the box. It went like this:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
You hate me
But I love you.

My friends, this is poetic genius at it's best. I was so timid and shy that I had my friend take this to her and I proceeded to hide in an English room for the rest of the day. Y'see I had understood what it meant to like a girl, but not how to talk to one, and this gap was a problem. Now that I was faced with such a fearful task of step 2 in this communication of my appreciation, I found myself wanting.

What I hadn't banked on was the reaction I was to receive.

Zowie's twin sister came and found me, and instead of thanking me on her sister's behalf, she began to tell me that her sister in fact thought I was a strange boy, who had issues and looked like a rat. I was crushed. It took me years to pick myself back off the floor.

I have many questions about my formation in my former years, one of them hangs over how much of an effect this episode had on my confidence and subsequent interactions with humans of the female genre.



The good news is my poetry has got better.

the church in Auckland = Christianity vaccine?

Inoculation introduces a mild form of a disease into a body, thereby stimulating the growth of antibodies and rendering the person immune to getting a full-blown version of the sickness. In the same way, post-Christian society contains unique resistance and "antibodies" against full-blown Christianity. For example, the memory of sustained injustices that flourished under more Christianized Western societies has become an antibody against the gospel.

Christianity was big back when blacks had to sit at the back of the bus and when women were beaten up by men without consequences. We've tried out a Christian society and it wasn't so hot. Been there. Done that.

In a society like ours, most people only know of either a very mild, nominal Christianity or a separatist, legalistic Christianity. Neither of these is, may we say, "the real thing." But exposure to them creates spiritual antibodies, as it were, making the listener extremely resistant to the gospel. These antibodies are everywhere in our society.

This is an extract from an essay written by Tim Keller, in a book I just read called "The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World". The book itself is an interesting collection of essays dealing with how to translate the Gospel to a postmodern society. The book wasn't full of profundities, but it was a valuable insight into how some of the most influential pastors in America are seeking to continue to communicate the Gospel to the cultures they find themselves in today.

This quote in particular stuck out to me. As someone who really loves the city of Auckland and wants to see the best for it, I will often be thinking hard about how to best show the city who Jesus is. This thinking hard often also involves a lot of agonizing at the present state of Auckland Christendom and the damage I know that has been done. I remember back in sixth form, I was part of a Christian group that turned people away at rapid speed, often conning people into our meetings with promises of free stuff, and then preaching Hell to them (that was me once). I'm not saying Hell shouldn't be preached, but conning people in is a very slippery way of doing business.

I don't want to be overly critical, but I feel as though some of the more significant churches (although great at what they do for the most part) preach a watered down gospel that looks incredibly attractive from the outset (especially with a professional Sunday show), but then offers something very superficial on the inside.

I talk to a lot of people who have been completely turned off and inoculated by this incredibly transparent approach, and also a lot of Christians that the church seems to have failed in regard to being real and tackling issues of real substance that go beyond Jesus making me feel better about myself. The evidence is a large number of wanderers of which I am becoming increasingly aware is a larger number than I thought.

I would like to soften the negativity of this post with a great quote from Augustine:
Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.